Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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