Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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