I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
