i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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