i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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