So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
