Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
