He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
