would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
