if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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