Someone shit on the floor
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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