i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
