i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish my penis had a tongue
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
