we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
