Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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