Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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