even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
