moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
