I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
