so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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