god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He keeps bees of course he's weird
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
