The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
