16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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