Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
