at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
