hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
im on a boat
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