I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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