i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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