If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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