I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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