Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
