im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize