she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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