How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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