why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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