you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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