Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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