Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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