I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
