used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
