the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
worst night to have a conscience
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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