life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
