people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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