I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
