Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
