im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
