what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
