You can't motorboat a personality
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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