He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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