508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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