If that was your dad, he is hot
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
