I'd wear matching sweaters with you
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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