Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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