Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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