i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
