in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
