I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He passed out mid-signature
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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