I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
