What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
