you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
