He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He shit in the fireplace
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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