never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
