We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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