The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize