Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
