We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
