Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
