I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
40s are totally the cure
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
