the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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