and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
