have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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