vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize