Plan B is the new Plan A
Please, let me fuck your mom
he shaved USA in his pubs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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