I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
