I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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